Advertising I just don't understand...

I see a fair few ads on Australian TV that make me cringe. Not to say that it is different to any other country in the variance of quality... but I have to wonder how there are people working in marketing who haven't figured out that these are terrible ways to sell their brand and product.

If you were challenging Telstra, whose approach to selling TV bundles includes a simple but brilliant mechanic of putting a big screen in their store window and allowing passers by to switch channels - you might try and think of something smart or an idea that connects with people.

Today however I heard this...

"Hello shop assistant"

"Hello potential customer"

"I am interested in a broadband and tv bundle deal, and would like to have more information thrown at me in two minutes than I could possibly take in with a team of shorthand assistants please."

"That's convenient, as our marketing manager has decided that we need to fit every single product feature and benefit in our complex package into a single two minute promo."

"All of them? That's wonderful. I always find having 300 stats flung at me randomly is much more helpful in making my purchase decisions than two or three useful ones."

"Brilliant. You are my favourite customer!"

"So why are you being weirdly friendly to me?"

"Well we read some information about how an emotional connection helps customers bond with your message."

"That's very true."

"But we have no space for an emotional message what with the four hundred pages of copy, so instead we're going to make all of my actions seem cheesy and false in the hope that will suffice."

"It truly does, may I ask who whitened your teeth? They look lovely."

"You may. Would you like me to tell you all their price points and features too?"

"Would I ever!"

Etc.

On the subject of bad ads. Some people should really consider how the details make a huge difference. Take the 200 different brands of healthy vitamin/krill oil/chewy vitamin/etc/etc currently advertising, they all try to mimic a cheesy infomercial style, but they look so false. On a topic as important as your health and that of your kids, surely you'd want to come across with as much authenticity as possible.

Further to the importance of details. If you are filming ads, at least try to pay attention to how people actually hold your products. Because if your ad features a product being held like this:

Or like this:

Or like this:

It probably looks shit.