Totally Awful

Some ads are just bad, some are really bad. Some just pass by without doing much, while others make you want to rip your hair out. (Those of you who have any left)

It takes something however to make an ad that is so bad that it makes me consider not buying a brand I have been loyal to for over a decade; just to object to being made to watch it.

Unlike the ads for Colgate sensitive, which (whilst being flat and direct) told a new piece of information that was interesting to learn, and were at least a bit interesting; the new Colgate Total ad commits too many sins to be forgivable.

It's flat and direct, it looks dubbed, it features a hideously bad personal trial mechanic, it has nothing to engage the viewer with at all.

The brand has a history of straightforward ads, but this is the weakest I can remember. The old stuff about 'More dentists use Colgate Total' was genuinely interesting and persuasive, the demonstration of how Colgate Sensitive stops tooth pain was informative... this just feels like being lectured.

When people talk about the internet and how a one-way monologue is no longer relevant; it is this kind of stuff that they are talking about.

I won't subject you to it, so here (about 3 ads in) is a better ad from the brand in 1995.

A Planner in Hong Kong Part 3 - Gawp!

One thing that happens a lot north of the touristy areas is staring. I was stared at at, a lot. In the New territories towns you get people glancing in surprise, in China however it was something else altogether.

In Shaoguan (on an exertion with a guide who spoke no English) kids chuckle and point, people turn their heads in surprise, and old ladies give you evil eyes... really scary evil eyes.

In fact whilst at a scenic tourist attraction (a giant penis shaped rock, I kid you not) two girls started taking pictures by the shop we were in. Turns out they were taking a picture of me... hah.

So Kai Lai asked if they would like a proper photo with me, to which they giggled and said yes. So each took a photo with me. In one I did the China/Hong Kong pose of doing a V sign (Victory, not sod off), which made them fall about laughing.

I almost wish I had been there the day after to see the local paper, page 14 "Westerner spotted in town!"

Some photos:

The amazing Guangzhao South train station, plus Chinglish

The penis shaped stone

A Planner in Hong Kong Part 2

Part 2 - I am here!

I don't know if you've ever been to Hong Kong, but if not I imagine your expectation of it is a little like New York, this huge metropolis of skyscrapers; and you'd be partly right. Hong Kong has more skyscrapers than New York, and has more people living above the 14th floor than anywhere in the world. Here, a town is five blocks of flats, a shopping centre and a school.

Yet there is another world that is a short trip away. Within 20 miles or so you have the beaches and mountains of Aberdeen, the business bustle of Central, the mad ex-pat buzz of Soho, the gaudy fake Rolexery of Kowloon and the local life of the New Territories.

It's the latter where we would be staying. A small village about 300 yards from the border with the China restricted zone, where the town of Sha Tau Kok includes a road where one side is China and one side is Hong Kong.

The village is probably what you expect old Hong Kong to be like, small areas of little communities with old houses (mostly knocked down now, Hong Kong has little place for the old as there is so little space). Positioned next to a big hill/small mountain it's an amazing place to be, with the edges of the sea visible from just a few hundred yards away.

To get to Hong Kong island, I have to get a 30 min bus to Sheung Shui, then take the East rail line almost all the way down to Kowloon, then change to the MTR, then change lines again. It took us about 90minutes to get back last time we went there...

Picture is the village bus stop - From hkbus.wikia.com

A Planner in Hong Kong Part 1

Almost two weeks in Hong Kong now, and the days are flying past. I shall be writing about the experience over the next week or so, feel free to read or ignore at your leisure!

Part 1 - Flying!

Now I hope not to jinx this as I am yet to fly back at time of writing, but my journey here left me extremely impressed with Qatar Airways. Great service and excellent food made the journey as comfy as it could be for someone who's legs are too long for economy class.

I wanted to fly Virgin Atlantic after the great experience we had last time, but I think so far Qatar are pipping it.

The food was great (for air travel), it tasted good and didn't have the texture of polystyrene. The seats were comfortable and had a little more leg room than I remember on some other flights.

The little thing that said it all for me was the blanket. On most airlines they are these horrible wool/nylon static monstrosities that feel cheap and nasty. On Qatar they were soft and fluffy as a kitten that has just been machine washed with Comfort softener.

The service was excellent too, friendly staff who were happy to help out the whole way through the flight.

I also finally got to see The Social Network too. Great film.

A Letter to Samsung

Dear Samsung,

I write as a person who has regular contact with your products, most of which are excellent. (My wife's last four phones have all been Samsung)

My problem however is with your customer service.

I bought a Galaxy Tablet recently, having phoned your support line to ask if it had a physical security lock point; a question to which your advisor gave a clear 'yes' to. On receipt of the item, I noticed it has no security point whatsoever.

I phoned again to complain and try and find a security solution, apart from giving me the accessories number it seemed the person on the phone (definitely didn't sound UK based) couldn't do anything more to help.

I checked your website for a contact email. Nothing.

I rang the accessories number, and was told that "This isn't the accessories line, this is for cancelled orders. I'll put you through to accessories."

The next person picked up, "This isn't accessories" and then gave me the exact number I dialled in the first place.

So. Would someone like to help me by either offering some kind of apology for the incorrect information given before purchase? Would someone like to help me solve the security problem I have given I cannot find a single product that I need to make it secure as required? Would someone like to tell me why a company that makes as many great products as Samsung has given such poor service?

While I Remember

I forgot to post this earlier in the year, but I enjoyed this personalised picture trend stuff from Getty Images' 27 Letters.

The Pop Up Ad

I was thinking this week about online video content and media space; about whether there is a way to use TV like an online spot. I started at Honda's Cog ad, how one full length spot generated huge public interest.

The key ad that got me thinking though was this:


The Halifax radio station ads, or more specifically this:


A genius dubstep remix.

Now go with me here. Imagine if you put that once, on a music channel in the middle of the evening. Most people who saw it would think "what the hell??" and probably go and talk about it. People would ask if others saw it. Yet because it would only appear once on TV it could take on a mystical 'see it or miss it' quality, 'were you there when that ad played?'

In other words, can we use pop up ads, remix ads, proper UCG (not this make our ad for us bullshit) to create one off interesting moments that will create genuine interest and could help brands appear interesting and engaging?

Love to hear your thoughts.

Whilst watching TV yesterday...

"New X Cream from ABC.

Our cream is THIS and does THIS. It's filled with THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS so it does THIS, THIS and THIS.

Does your cream do THIS?

X Cream from ABC does THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIIIS..."

ARGH!!!!

Why not just kidnap us, strap us to a chair and force us Clockwork Orange style to watch a three hour seminar on how your cream is minutely better than the next brand, until we turn into loyal zombies working on auto drive.

For fucks sake, a product feature list is not an ad.

Bus Stop Bubbles

I am a big fan of interactive bus stop media, they give you something to do whilst waiting in the rain (at least in Manchester), and at present are new enough an idea that people will stop and look at them purely because of what they are.

The latest one from Aero looks nice and ties in well with the current brand idea and strapline. It's a simple quiz to determine how Irresistibubble you are, nothing spectacular but it passes a minute of time in an engaging way.

Hello there little cupcake

Hurrah! After a few months of moving my favourite cupcakes are back in Manchester. Hey Little Cupcake opened their doors last Friday and by time I got there at half one they were almost totally sold out!

Lovely people and tasty cakes are a winning combination... I don't do these kinds of posts very often!

If you are ever in near the Spinningfields area of Manchester I wholeheartedly recommend you try one!