Faris pointed out a great article on The Register about a leaked Phones4U document which explains to staff the 12 profiles of people that enter their store. See if you can spot the patronising one...
Top Gear Tigers, for example are men between 25 and 44, who "work hard - for the cash", the briefing tell us. The Top Gun Tiger cluster size is 1.16 million.
Flashing Blade is a bloke between 15 and 24 who enjoys "going to the gym" as well as "taking risks, drugs and the odd street fight"
Scariest of all are Soccer Dads (aged 35 to 44), however. Soccer Dad may be getting on a bit, but he'll have Flashing Blade. He "lives and breathes football", likes Question of Sport, Parkinson, and the odd bet, and "like(s) to demonstrate... continuing youth and vigour, hate(s) losing face in front of his mates".
Top brands are Alpen, Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, Tag Heuer and Cobra beer. Soccer Dad is a good candidate for upselling, because his favoured mobile is, "chunky, with lots of gadgets they rarely use".
iPod Babe (cluster size: 1.567 million). Single 18 to 34 iPod Babe puts her career first, keeps in touch with friends, and holidays as much as possible.
iPod Babe watches Hollyoaks, Footballers Wives and Big Brother, shops at Lush and Starbucks, and is into Fuck Buddy Sex.Yes. It really says that.
Wow, reminds me exactly why I dont buy phones from Phones4U anymore. Just the kind of management thinking that makes consumers hate brands, regardless of how accurate the profiles are to some people.