I am bored.
I am too long.
I am pretentious.
I am mind-numbingly dull.
I am obvious.
I am still too long.
I am blatantly obvious.
I am still far too long.
I am so obvious you have already got the message and have changed the channel, unless of course:
I am about to reveal a witty and delightful end line.
I am still going on and on and on.
I am fucking annoying.
I am trying so hard to be meaningful
I am completely failing
I am sounding very contrived
I am taking my audience for idiots
I am STILL going on
I am not going to give you that impressive end line, despite the expectation of one being the only thing keeping you watching
I am finally fucking finished
If you must...
Come back Kronenberg ad, all is forgiven.
Fallon, come on now. We know you can do better.