Thursday, April 26, 2007

Britain. 12 Types of People. Thats it. No More. No Less.

GAH! Its ok to look at customers in different market groups or target areas; but why do companies insist on categorising the entire population of a country into 5 or 6 different profiles?

Faris pointed out a great article on The Register about a leaked Phones4U document which explains to staff the 12 profiles of people that enter their store. See if you can spot the patronising one...

Top Gear Tigers, for example are men between 25 and 44, who "work hard - for the cash", the briefing tell us. The Top Gun Tiger cluster size is 1.16 million.

Flashing Blade is a bloke between 15 and 24 who enjoys "going to the gym" as well as "taking risks, drugs and the odd street fight"

Scariest of all are Soccer Dads (aged 35 to 44), however. Soccer Dad may be getting on a bit, but he'll have Flashing Blade. He "lives and breathes football", likes Question of Sport, Parkinson, and the odd bet, and "like(s) to demonstrate... continuing youth and vigour, hate(s) losing face in front of his mates".

Top brands are Alpen, Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, Tag Heuer and Cobra beer. Soccer Dad is a good candidate for upselling, because his favoured mobile is, "chunky, with lots of gadgets they rarely use".

iPod Babe (cluster size: 1.567 million). Single 18 to 34 iPod Babe puts her career first, keeps in touch with friends, and holidays as much as possible.

iPod Babe watches Hollyoaks, Footballers Wives and Big Brother, shops at Lush and Starbucks, and is into Fuck Buddy Sex.

Yes. It really says that.

Wow, reminds me exactly why I dont buy phones from Phones4U anymore. Just the kind of management thinking that makes consumers hate brands, regardless of how accurate the profiles are to some people.


Will said...

People like to categorise, what can I say?

You bought x album, so you must be y. Get enough 'salient' information, and you can character assassinate like that.

And the sad thing is (though everyone does it naturally), some businesses believe this is an exact science.

Sadly, I have a Phones4U phone.. but I was hungover, and my old one was buggered. I blame John Caudwell*..

*Of course, this would be different if one of Staffordshire's most prominent businessmen had invested in Stoke City. Bastard.

Anonymous said...


P4U has always been a hard HARD sell retailer; sadly that seems to go hand in hand with poor understanding of the public.

Anonymous said...

I'm dead. What fucking category do I fit into?

Anonymous said...

Goth probably. Knowing these things...

lauren said...

maybe i shoud try and get a job with P4U and start only selling to those top gear tigers. they sound like a great catch! and if i can have fuck buddy sex with them and start watching footballers wives, then i too could be an iPod babe! wow!

Anonymous said...

Soccer dads - I know one of them I'm afraid

Anonymous said...

Of course there are going to be lots of people in those categories, they wouldnt be stereotypes otherwise.

But the notion that there is no difference in those million people within that category is astounding. I bet some even support Chelsea ;)

According to that kind of thinking, Wasp and Bees are identical because they fly, are yellow and black, and sting. But they miss the HUGE difference in what they do, produce, and eat. We are 99% similar to apes, but that doesnt mean we are the same.

Simplysteve said...

Help I'm in a nutshell, how did I get into this bloody great nutshell!!!